Wow

God is so great. I really feel like He is working in my life right now and it feels good. I'm on a roll with Joyce Meyer (God has been revealing some great things to me through her), I have been listening to her online and listening to A Marriage That Works CD set that someone bought for me at the conference. Not only is it helping me to build a better relationship with my husband, but I am learning about how I can build better relationships with anyone.
I just want to share some of what I'm learning, because if it's helping me I'm sure someone else will benefit as well! I have been really good at reading my bible and praying and doing devotions lately. I was determined to start doing that on a daily bases to make God happy. I used to think that God was disappointed with me if I would forget. I have been learning though that it makes US happier if we read our bible, not Him. He wants us to read our bible and pray so that WE are happier. God has so much love for us and we need to accept that. I need to accept that. Yes, I have always known that God loves me. Here is the difference, I always felt like I was not worthy, I needed to act a certain way and have all of my problems cleared up. So much of my life has been spent getting conditional love. If I do something right, I would be rewarded with love. That is not what God is, He is unconditional love. He loves me for who I am, I know I make mistakes, and I'm not perfect. He loves me regardless, and He wants to fill me with His love. I need that love in order to love other people.
Not only do I need His love, but I need to love myself. This is not the unbalanced love, as in I can do no wrong, I'm awesome etc. This means I need to love myself, faults and all. If I don't love myself, I can't love others. If I am insecure about something I lash out on others. It's not because of something they've done, it's because of my insecurities. Those are things that I am determined to give over to God.
I no longer want to live in my little box. I'm tired of trying to make people fit into categories, and I'm tired of getting upset over little insignificant things. I could never, never let things go. If something bothered me I felt like I had to bring it up and make that person listen to what I had to say. I was afraid to let things go because if I let it go, then that person would do it again. Well guess what!! I can't change someone, I need to work on changing myself. I need to do my part and God will change the rest. That doesn't always mean that if I pray that God will change that other person. What I've been learning is that most of the time if I allow God to work in me I will become perfectly fine with the situation.
Something else Joyce said really struck me. The Holy Spirit can't work in a situation if we are trying to do it ourselves. All in all the thing I am learning right now is to just LET IT GO and loosen up!! It's great